Empty Chairs
How many empty chairs are sitting around your table at Thanksgiving? I don't mean the chairs you can see. How many empty chairs in your mind are there?
Chairs that should be holding loved ones, but they're not there?
Is the empty chair for a grandparent who passed away years ago?
Is there an empty chair where a husband should sit, but now he's just known as your ex? Is there an empty seat for your mom because your relationship has gotten so complicated? Is there an empty seat for a friend, but she is no longer here? Is there an empty seat where a boyfriend or husband should sit, yet you remain single? Is there an empty highchair where your baby should be laughing?
Holidays often evoke images of full tables in full homes, full of laughter and good food, surrounded by friends and family. All is right; all is good. And as we celebrate Thanksgiving this week and ponder all that we have to be thankful for, are there empty chairs in our minds representing loss, grief, pain, sorrow, and unmet and unfulfilled desires?
What do we do with this?
May I suggest we meditate on Philippians 4:4–9.
4 “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”(ESV)
The apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, pens these words while he is in prison. He's unjustly put in prison as he has been preaching the gospel. He is unable to travel. He is unable to see those that he cares about, and yet he gives us a picture of how to handle our thought lives.
Over the last weeks, we have been discussing different spiritual disciplines. Prayer and meditation are repeatedly brought up throughout the Scriptures. These two spiritual disciplines, linked with thanksgiving, show up in this passage.
There can be so much going on in our hearts and minds, but whatever we are dealing with, whatever the emotions, grief, pain, sorrow, anger, or anxiousness, we can take it to God. I love the picture that this passage paints that we can take everything to God. We can let ALL our requests be made known to God, but the posture of our hearts needs to be in the right place. We start with thanksgiving.
If you are anything like me, thanksgiving/gratitude does not come up first when I am dealing with sadness and loss. Yet, when I set time aside to pray to God when I poured out my heart before him, and when I thanked him for all the good things he has given me, he has comforted me.
When we pray with an attitude of thankfulness and gratitude, verse seven states the outcome. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
We are to start with thankfulness and gratitude in our prayer life, and God protects us. I find this so incredibly beautiful. It may not come naturally, but practicing and disciplining ourselves to start with gratitude and thankfulness in our prayer lives is critical.
I suggest that even though we may not naturally default to thankfulness, we were created to be thankful.
“Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 (ESV)
It is God's will for us to give thanks through everything.
Additionally, scientifically, it is showing up in research that thankfulness changes us.
Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough decided to research gratitude and thankfulness and how it affects people. In their paper, “Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life” they detail three studies and the results. Participants who journaled each day and listed a few things they were grateful for saw better sleep, a better outlook for the upcoming week, and overall increased life satisfaction.
I always find it interesting to see a study that shows the importance of something when Scripture has told us about that topic for thousands of years.
Both scripture and science show that thankfulness and gratitude practices must be integrated into our daily lives.
It is significantly easier for me to type these words than for us to actually live this out through heartbreaking circumstances. I am not suggesting that we ignore the pain and brokenness in our hearts. I am suggesting that we take that pain and we lay it before God while still being thankful for all that he has done. We can always be thankful for his love, his faithfulness, and for him saving us.
“For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.” Psalm 100:5 (ESV)
God sees your pain. He sees every empty chair. He loves you. He has not abandoned you. His faithfulness will not run out on you. Your situation is not too complicated for him. Your pain is not too much for him. He is sufficient.
No matter what you face over the holiday season. No matter how great your losses are, no matter if everyone knows or no one knows, Jesus is enough.
My prayer for you is the same as Paul’s prayer for the church in Rome.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13 (ESV)
About Christine
Christine is an associate pastor at her church, Scottsdale Worship Center. She has over a decade and a half of youth ministry experience and is passionate about the next generation falling in love with and following Jesus. She is currently pursuing her Masters in Christian Studies at Phoenix Seminary. She is confident that if God can take the quiet, shy dyslexic girl and mold her into a preacher and a writer, God can do far more than you can imagine in your own life.
Connect with her on Instagram