“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
— James 2:17

Most times when I get in my car, I turn on worship music. It’s my own Spotify playlist—a mix of Francesca Battistelli, CAIN, Chris Renzema, and many others. I’ve always felt closest to God when I’m worshiping, be it in the car or at church, really, wherever the music is. I pour my heart out and often cry during worship about the goodness of the Lord. I hold my hands open-faced, sometimes shooting a hand up in the air towards heaven. My heart and soul always feel refreshed when I sing or hear about the character of God.

Recently, I was asked a pretty convicting question:

Are you living your faith with integrity?
That is, are you living it honestly?

My gut reaction was, “Well of course I am! I love Jesus, I love the church, and I love His people.” But the more I sat and pondered this, the more I began to recall recent events—trials, even— in my life that may not reflect the same faith I was proclaiming I had every time I worshiped in the car, at church, or at Bible Study.

Was I actually walking out this faith in my own life? Was I actively believing God for His promises? Was I believing Him to be who He says He is? Or was I the person from James 1:6— the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, tossed and blown about? Was I questioning His will for my life, believing that my own ideas were better?!

Here’s what I’ve come to realize: It’s one thing to feel your faith deep in your soul. To know who God is, in your bones. It’s quite another to act on it. I know these things; I am confident of that. I’ve seen God bring me through the fire. I’ve witnessed His Sovereignty, His goodness, His grace, and His healing, not only in my life, but in others’ lives, too. Yet, I still questioned His plans for me. It seems counterintuitive, I know. How often we forget, right?

I think most of us can agree that it often feels “easier” to worship God when things are good. When they’re going the way we want, we sing, “You’re so good, God.” But, do we mean this even and especially when things aren’t going our way? When we’re experiencing a deep longing for something we don’t yet have, with no confirmed “achievement date?” When we’re in the middle of the fire? When we’re about to step INTO the fire?

If you were asked to lay down the most PRECIOUS thing in your earthly life…your babies, your husband, your family, your pet, your home, your job, etc…If God allowed your most idolized possession to be stripped from you on this side of Heaven, would you still walk in the faith you claim to have? Would you still sing His praises? Would you still proclaim He is good? Would you still believe His unchanging character?

This is hard stuff, friends. It’s not pretty to sit in. In fact, it’s painful. It’s messy and icky, and we don’t want to think about it. Because surrendering the outcomes to God can be scary. We know this fallen world is filled with pain, suffering, and trials of various kinds. But this? This is true faith. This is walking in integrity—living out every moment what we say we believe in the pews on Sunday. This is not only believing what God says about who He is, but actively surrendering the worldly things we hold close, and trusting God with the outcome, whatever that may look like. We know that He uses everything for His glory and the good of His kingdom, and we can rest in this promise.

I invite you to really think about the application of this in your own life. What are you holding so close that it (or they) has/have become an idol? What are you unwilling to surrender to God in this season? Are you proclaiming His goodness on Sunday, but not living in His promises Monday through Saturday? When we accept the invitation to surrender, it is a glorious thing, friends. When we set down the heavy loads we’ve been carrying, when we entrust the outcome to God, when we exchange our burdens for Jesus’ easy yoke—this is a life lived in true, integrous faith.

“Declare me innocent, O Lord, for I have acted with integrity; I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and my heart. For I am always aware of your unfailing love, and I have lived according to your truth.”
— Psalm 26:1-3

- Kailee Clough