Ok, friends. This topic of prayer is a big one for me.

Prayer is an area I have seen God grow me, but it’s also an area I find to be a struggle again and again. Anyone else? I’m someone who tends to be very literal. I like rules. I like black-and-white, definitive answers and formulas. (Digging a little deeper, you could say I like security, control, and having a grasp on what is happening. Real talk!)

So, when we enter the realm of prayer, an area where God speaks to us, is present with us, listens to us, but doesn’t map out the entire conversation...I get uncomfortable. Too many unknowns.

My brain wants to understand when exactly I can count on God answering my prayer requests the way I want them to be answered. My brain wants to hold onto every positive example of men and women in the Bible who got the tangible answers to their prayers in a timely fashion! It’s more comforting to push aside stories like Job and his long season of suffering or Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7-8). That gets too messy and confusing, right?

My battle with prayer comes with requests for physical healing. If I can take a moment to be vulnerable with you, I’d like to share a few ways I’ve learned hard lessons on prayer.

Several years ago, my aunt was diagnosed with cancer, and oh my goodness, I was so confident God would heal her. I’m telling you, I had never prayed so faithfully than when I prayed for her body to be healed. I would praise God ahead of time for the beautiful miracle it would be, bringing glory to His name, probably bringing doctors to the faith, and an encouraging testimony to the large church where she faithfully served and ministered on the pastoral team. I was honestly so excited for this prayer to be answered.

So, when our family’s world came crashing down with her passing away, I was left a little shocked, saddened, and disappointed to say the least. 

Did I not have enough faith? Did I not pray often enough? Were my motives selfish? 

The questions just circled through my head. And it was a challenging time for my prayer life. I lost a lot of confidence in why I even attempted to pray. Clearly, God didn’t care to take my prayers into consideration, I thought.

Let’s allow this place to be safe to ask some tough questions:

Do prayers matter? Does God answer our prayers? What’s the point? We’ll circle back to this. (Praise God, He’s big enough and merciful enough to handle our doubts and frustration with prayer.)  

How easy it is to forget God’s character when we face sadness and troubles in this world!

When we are in the middle of crisis, hardship, or pain, and we cry out for God to change the situation, I believe there is an important strategy to keep at the forefront of our minds when we pray to God.

Intentionally surround yourself with reminders of what is true about God’s character. Rehearse what is true about God more often than you rehearse your earthly pain and hardship.

We know in this broken and fallen world, we will not always have the happy endings we desire. Sickness, suffering, death, and evil are heartbreaking realities. And I think God wants us to bring those to Him! But for some reason, when difficulties hit us personally, it can be second nature to doubt what is true about God. I love to remind myself of John 16:33 until its second sentence becomes too real for me.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 
— (John 16:33)

What truth of God do you need to remind yourself of today? Let’s repeat these over and over so we can know and understand the God we are praying to:

God is love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
— (1 John 4:7-8)

God is faithful.

For the Word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does.
— (Psalm 33:4)

God is your provider.

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
— (2 Corinthians 9:8)

God knows what you need.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
— (Matthew 6:31-32)

God cares about you.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
— (1 Peter 5:7)

God knows you intimately. (I encourage you to read all of Psalm 139 for this one.)

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
— (Psalm 139:13-14)

What a refreshing set of reminders! With those truths speaking to us the loudest, we can face anything this broken world has to offer. We can offer our prayers to God with open hands and trust.

Let’s get back to those tough questions from earlier.

These thoughts will at least spark some thoughts as you wrestle with God on the topic of prayer.

Q: Do prayers matter?

A: Yes. Prayer matters to God. I think the most difficult part to wrap our minds around is that it’s so much more than a list of wants/needs we bring to God. It’s a way for us to communicate with God directly. And Jesus paid a huge price on the cross for that to even be possible for us. The ability to pray to God directly is a miracle itself! Have you thanked Him for that opportunity lately? Gratitude often changes our perspective.

Q: Does God answer our prayers?

A: God does answer prayers! But does He answer my prayers exactly how I want them to be answered? Not all the time. And praise God for His perspective beyond mine. Praise God for His steadfast faithfulness and love even when I cannot comprehend its presence in my situation. I rest in the security He brings when I don’t understand.  

Q: What’s the point?

A: I really believe the point of prayer is largely learning to trust our intimacy with God. The truth is, God in His sovereignty can do anything. Nothing is impossible for Him. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, and eternally beyond us in all His thoughts and ways. So when we experience the intimacy of being able to talk with Him personally and a situation doesn’t go the way we wanted, what an opportunity to lean into trust. If we believe in the character of God outlined in Scripture, there is abundant reason to trust Him fully and without any doubt. (Easier said than done, am I right?)

Prayer is a great mystery to me. It’s a beautiful gift. It’s a chance for us to communicate directly with our Creator. It’s a powerful tool. It’s a weapon we are given to fight the enemy. And it can still trip me up when earthly answers don’t go my way.

I hope as you wrestle with prayer in your life, you always allow your wrestling to bring you closer and closer to Jesus. He’s doing an amazing work in you and will be faithful to complete the work He has started.  

— Emily Heaton, Arise Worship Lead