It was fall of 2015.

With a year of post-college life under my belt, I had so many things to be grateful for!

·       I had moved from Southern Oregon to Mesa, Arizona and was loving the sun and adventures in this new city.

·       I had just experienced a really enjoyable 11-month internship at a church and did life with seven amazing individuals who impacted me profoundly.

·       I had just gotten hired full-time as a Marketing Coordinator at the same church.

·       My best friend since I was 5 years old had just moved to Arizona, and we became roommates (um, hello dream come true!).

I’m telling you—life was good. And I was so thankful, joyful, and excited about my future!

And yet, there was also this really big part of me that still ached for one thing. Ladies…can any of you relate? I wanted to get married!!

Here I was, a 24-year-old, and I kid you not when I tell you I had never been on a date. (Unless you count one high school dinner banquet—not to be confused with dancing—and a few Christian college group dorm parties.)

Moment of honesty—because I think it’s ok to feel this: It is really hard to desire for God to bring you a compatible man and feel like it will never happen. It’s really hard to feel like no one wants to date you. It can feel sad and discouraging and lonely and frustrating. (Especially when you’re pretty cool and an amazing catch…tehehe- you ARE!)

Did you know God can handle your honest emotions when it comes to love?

“You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.”

Psalm 139:1-4

I remember many many moments and seasons of almost dual-existing emotions. On one hand, I was completely content in Christ, I desired to serve Him, and I was joyful! And somehow at the same time, my heart kind of ached for this desire of marriage and a family. I remember many conversations with God, reminding Him that He was the one who created marriage. He was the one who said it’s good. So…it was completely valid that I desired it! Praise God for His graciousness during my moody prayers.

2016 came and went. 25 years old…still no man. (Ask me about one of my many delightful stories of first dates via the beloved dating apps. I feel your pain, ladies.)

So, why am I pouring out my saga of singleness? I just want to remind you of a few things:

1.     If you are a Jesus-following, joyful woman of God who is complete and content, and also longs to be married, I see you. (And more importantly, God sees you.)

2.     It’s ok to be fully honest with God. He already understands you deeply.

3.     It’s important to remain faithful to Him, no matter what.

I’m not going to share things like, “One day your prince will come,” because I remember it wasn’t helpful when people made promises to me they couldn’t be certain of in my season of singleness.

What I can be certain of, and what I can offer you is the freedom you will experience when you rest in God’s love at all times—whether or not He brings you the man of your dreams. (gulp)

It can be difficult to believe this when you’re single and desiring marriage, so I want to remind you of a truth to hold onto, even if you don’t feel this right now. God’s love satisfies you completely. And it always will.

Let’s normalize being honest with God. I remember not wanting people to think I was like desperate or completely dissatisfied. No! I was confident, joyful, loving life, and yet still held the sadness of feeling like this desire had not been met for my own family. And I think that’s ok!

Take a moment to talk with God right now. Have you been honest with Him? Do you trust Him? Are you clinging to His faithfulness no matter your circumstance?

His love is worth it.

— Emily Heaton

If this message resonated with you and this is an area you are wrestling with in this season, we encourage you to check out this Heart of Dating podcast episode on the duality of desire and contentment.